The time is NOOOOOOOW. It is time to be the resilient warrior I was before And will be again. Before I let my eating disorder get the best of me… AGAIN. It’s time to get up. Man up, although I really do hate that expression, and get my shit together….AGAIN. Nothing will change if I don’t do something different. Nothing will change if I don’t change. Change isn’t all bad I guess. Hard as hell but people do it everyday. My thoughts, my actions, my behaviors. YES all could use some tuning up.
I have gone through life believing my thoughts, actions, and behaviors were permanently ingrained in this brain of mine. WHY? Because that’s what I’ve always done. WHY? Because thats what I always thought was right. WHY? Because that’s how I’ve always felt. But did I REALLY always feel, think and act that way? No
I made my struggles very clear in my last post. For a second I was ashamed for being so raw and honest but even more then that….. I felt like a fraud.
I spent years creating that persona NOT only to my readers, but to every single person that has ever walked in or out of my life.
Why does that make me a fraud? Because I wasn’t honest with everyone that I was struggling? Neither is half the worlds population! It’s time to start being more compassionate with myself.
It’s time to be honest with myself. It’s time to admit that I still struggle with my eating disorder and no amount of treatment can fix that. More importantly…. It’s time to get out of bed, get off my ass and stop feeling sorry for everything I’m not when I should be focusing on everything I am.
It’s time to bounce back and fight and there’s no better time then right now.