Ok STOP! Before you go any further I encourage y’all to go back into The archives and read my RESET post to catch up on the back story and the significant of Wednesday’s.
Well my therapy appointment went really well this morning! Thank god , NERVOUS is an understatement. I always feel as though anything and everything I say will be judged when the truth is… Nobody is judging me but me! And I have to work on keeping that in mind.
Reassurance is still something I need from time to time. I’m recovering from an eating disorder of course I am insecure. I hope that one day that changes. I really do . But for now, when I need that reassurance..she never fails to deliver. In turn, I left with a sense of peace I so desperately needed.
Had about 2 hours to kill before my dietitian appointment so I went to my cousins to kill some time . My nephews (5 months and 3 years) are my best friends in the whole wide world. Is it even possible to love someone else kids SO MUCH you can hardly breathe?
Going into my dietitians office today was tough. Actually having both appointments in one day can be tough. Sometimes focusing that much time on myself and my eating disorder in one day can leave me in a pretty dark place for the day. Not in a bad way per say, it’s better in the long run but super tough for the time being. But that’s my Wednesday’s. The only consistency I have in my life. I ALWAYS have my appointment to dread.
My dietitian is the polar opposite of my therapist. The only person who has been able to stop me dead in my tracks. Not mean . Not nasty. She just knows the tricks and can smell manipulation from a mile away. She was not the happiest with me.
I don’t claim to be recovered. I never said I don’t make mistakes. I still have bad days or a bad week. I still struggle with symptom use but I have to always and forever be honest about it. YOUR SECRETS KEEP YOU SICK FRIENDS!
My appointments wore me the hell out but I feel like a lot was accomplished. Now I am just hanging out at my cousins house where I will stay for the night. Watching movies when the baby goes to sleep sounds like the perfect ending to my semi stressful busy day. Good company and quality time is just what the doctor ordered.